Krishna Cottage (2004)

Today I will be reviewing a legit horror movie :P and like all movies...

This movie is the product of this..

The movie starts with a book launch by this professor.. the book has 9 and half love stories and it looks like this

Right when someone asks why 9 and half stories? creepy images flash on screen and the ribbon on the book just comes off by itself

Hahaha this creepy book is officially gifted to a college (we all know where this is going)

Annnd the title.. :) 

The story starts with the principal keeping the creepy book in a locked store room in the college..

And suddenly he sees a gutter cleaner's feet covered in shit

The principal touches the shit and he gets some creepy memory flashes

Enter Sohail Khan wearing track pants and sports shoes with a surf board :S 

Hahaha why are people dancing with surfboards?

And this random shot with Santa Claus

So Sohail Khan is a college student :S lol very believable 

Manav (sohail Khan) and Shanti (natasha) who are young students get engaged .. just an underage extra curricular activity

Actual movie dialogue ... the girl says We can kiss now that we got engaged, isn't it? (exactly why underage age marriage should be illegal)

But while Manav is getting engaged he is hitting on his classmate Disha (Isha Koppikar) 

Right when Disha congratulates Manav she notices a very old wrinkly hand.. wow :O Is Manav a ghost? Was it a crazy vision? or is Sohail Khan just showing his actual age? 

While people are dancing at the party they hear scary creaking sounds.. all signs of either a ghost or bad construction work

Whoops it was just a faulty chandelier

For some reason Disha is so traumatized by the event that she gets escorted home by a huge group of people including the engaged couple

While they drive through the tunnel they crash into an ice wall which was only seen by Disha and the driver

Typically, the crash causes the car tyres to get busted and they see this cottage XD so random

When stranded in the middle of nowhere you go into the first creepy house you see

ROFL moment in the movie... while her friends are talking, Shanti sits on a chair and she sees her friend with an axe.. he suddenly comes and tries to hit Shanti with the axe.. she nearly escapes and the axe hits the chair.. when asked has he gone insane he coolly replies no I am just getting some wood for fire and starts chopping the chair XD

This movie has some good scary moments but it is ruined by the atrocious acting

The story so far... these guys are stranded in the cottage and they are getting attacked but they still choose to stay .. And Disha thinks that her dead boyfriend aptly named Amar (immortal in english) is attacking them

So they leave the next day and suddenly usual horror movie actress lady appears and she also knows about Disha's dead boyfriend 

Next day.. back to college Manav is still flirting with Disha and this doesn't go down well with his fiancee..

But everything gets back to normal when Manav Shanti's newly straightened hair.. seriously :S

Nothing spells maturity than having soft toys in your bedroom and your fiance's huge poster on the wall

Story so far... while the audience is bombarded with Ekta Kapoor's vision of a healthy relationship.. Manav's lame friend picks up the haunted book from the library and gives it to this bimbo to read it

Just when the bimbo starts reading the book she gets flashes similar to the video tape in the movie The Ring

Good to see that Samara from The Ring still has a job

Horror movie logic.. when a strange creepy woman is crying in your bath tub you go to console her

So Shanti gets dared to go to the college library in the night and the idiot goes to the store room and she meets Samara

The idiot guy overhears the principal talking about the cursed book and he runs from Mumbai/Pune/Darjeeling to dead bimbo's house which is apparently in Delhi... what is more creepy? the ghost or normal people time travelling without any clue?

Most WTF scene... when Tully goes to Bimbo's house, he enters the bathroom. He sees a page in the wash basin with the water running... He picks up the paper and pours some more water on it :S wtf :S

He takes the book and runs back to Mumbai/Pune/Darjeeling to return the book back to the library

Tully being the d-bag he is.. keeps the book in his friend's car and tells his friend to return it to the library and not read it.. but he reads it anyway

Tully's friend calls Tully's land line /home phone and later discovers Tully's mobile phone was with him all the time.. So how did Tully talk to him? Sherlock quickly deduces that he was talking to the ghost

And Sherlock dies because he is too intelligent for this world

Meanwhile people are gearing up for Manav's performance for the last whole hour.. wonder what performance

But Shanti goes to Disha's house to see why is she so attractive to her fiance

Soon she meets Disha's mom (horror movie lady) and comes to know that Disha has been dead for 22 years :O

Soon after she discovers that Disha is dead, Shanti goes to notify her fiance Manav who is performing a song for Valentine's Day lol XD

But soon she gets a call from her dead bimbo friend, who everyone has conveniently forgotten about. And she takes the call in an open roof phone booth... this booth is perfect for Superman

Soon she discovers Sherlock's dead body and runs to the safest place on earth .. The Woods

But guess who is in the woods :)

Lol at this Exit board in the middle of the woods XD

Shanti runs and comes across a goddess Kali statue on the road and gets saved by Rati Agnihotri whose character is called Sunita Menon XD

Sunita (Rati) just like the real Sunita Menon is an aura reader with powers and talks to ghosts

Sunita comes to know that the ghost is real when the rice in her hands turns red

Hahaha so a seance happens and Disha's ghost possesses Sunita Menon (lol) and confesses to the crimes and wants to kill these idiots

After reading the book Tully decides to go back to the same haunted house they had been before to understand why ghost Disha wants to kill them

Annnd he dies

When Manav decides to investigate the Disha death further at the Lovers Point in Shimla.. the Ghost starts playing snow fight with him and he starts falling off the cliff

While falling off the cliff Maanav grabs on to a hand inside the snow and out comes a dead body.. he looks closely and it is his own dead body :S

Spoiler Alert! I know you wont be watching this tripe.. so.. the plot twist.. Manav was Amar in his previous life.. here shown dancing with Disha 22 years ago to a Beatles song.. because that is the only thing that represents old

He remembers that He friendzoned Disha when she asked him out on a date

WTF?! cut to next scene both of them are escaping in a car because three dead bodies are found outside Amar's house and the police suspect Amar and the professor who wrote the book is also standing outside

But soon Amar/Manav realizes that Disha killed those guys so that she can run away with Amar and she is a psycho

While they fight in the car the car flips over and Amar dies.. and suddenly out of nowhere the professor and the cops come to the hill and tell Disha to escape the avalanche ... 

Lol.. so Sunita comes up with a great plan to destroy the ghost.. she tells Manav and Shanti to get married because after marriage their horoscopes will become one and Disha cant do anything about it XD

So these guys marry but the ghost comes and wrecks it.. and leaves in one condition that Manav will marry the ghost.. just like the serial Kyunki Saas bhi Kabhi Bahu thi

Manav meets Disha at the same spot where he died in his previous life and he then jumps off the cliff.. but only dies after a speech where he tells Disha she is a loser

BUT... He is alive! Disha saves his life because she lost XD... god knows why she did it.. God knows why I watched this movie :S :/

Krishna Cottage - Final Review

Krishna Cottage is one of Ekta Kapoor's many horror projects from the early 2000s. Ekta is well know forher horror shows like Saas bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi.

This movie has a few creepy scenes that are very well done but they become awfully watered down due to bad acting and huge plot holes. 

The problem with this movie is that it has a lot of things going on at a point of time. The characters are shallow and you do not care for them. And did I mention the plot holes, the time travelling and absolute disregard of logic.

The acting is just pathetic.. Natasha is an awful actress no wonder she vanished from the entertainment scene. 

Overall, this movie is not worth watching even for writing a flop movie report.

So many questions came up while watching this movie..

- Where is the movie taking place? they keep telling Shimla but you can see a lot of places..

- Krishna Cottage was in the middle of nowhere so what was Disha's mother doing there?

- Why are all the doors to the houses open all the time?

- How Disha hide the body of Amar in the snow when she herself died in the avalanche?

- Where is everyone's parents?

- How can people time travel?