Saturday, September 27, 2014

WARDAT (1981)

This movie is a spy thriller very similar to James Bond style movies... This is gonna be fun

Indian James Bond is called 


And the movie is...


If you notice Mithun (Gun Master G9) is wearing Sherlock's hat

After an epic dose of Neon we see people getting attacked by a huge swarm of locusts


Never knew locust attack reporters used guns :S

Cut to a very red villain's lair which has some shady stuff going on.. the main villain wearing cheap gum boots tells Shakti about his weapons of mass destruction




We see G9 walking on a beach and he gets strangled but nope he is not G9 he is just some guy wearing G9's mask.. Mission Impossible got inspired by this




This was just a practice for the actual killing in the evening

G9 is so badass that he has his code name written in bold letters on his car

The thug tries to murder the real G9 in an elevator but G9 averts the attack


While the thug runs out of the building via stairs.. G9 jumps out of the building and shoots the bad guy... He is the gun master of course




Cut to Gun Master on the beach wearing flashy clothes and aunties wearing night clothes run towards him in a very excited manner

Soon they find themselves in a club which has a huge statue of a toilet bowl held by hands and decor inspired by rubik's cube, the medical sign and space invaders

Meanwhile the incident reporter gets attacked by locusts

But this guy is so strange.. he has been investigating the locust attack yet he gets surprised to find the news in papers

Shakti takes advantage of the locust attacks and devices a plan to make a profit

The reporter gets attacked by the locusts and he tries to kill the locusts with a gun.. and he uses his camera viewfinder as the scope XD No wonder he is working for the government 

But he soon gets attacked again by two thugs.. he defends himself with some kung fu and asks one thug who sent them

But before revealing anything, the thug strangles himself to death...fuck logic and biology 

My reaction to this is

But the reporter gets shot by these three strange blokes


Meanwhile a dude in karate uniform kills the reporter's partner and plants a bomb at her house


Meanwhile we see a mysterious hand checking out grains and some DEAD plastic LOCUSTS on his table?

Gun Master G9 is called for the rescue .. and he is found wearing a pink plastic cover in a very surrealist club where photographers hang from pendulums... 




So Gun Master G9 is a spy by day and bar dancer by night

Meanwhile the bad guys mess around with G9's car.. I wonder how they knew that was his car? It was supposed to be a secret :S

G9 deals with the thugs in the club with some dance moves and runs for his life..

G9 and the girl both escape the criminals on a motorcyle and he then literally rides back to his home... right inside his home


G9 the bad ass spy keeps his badassery in check with some snow white painting in his bedroom

G9 keeps avoiding calls from the chief and suddenly an intruder enters his snow white room


Then begins a shaolin showdown between G9 and the intruder.. where they break many pieces of furniture which look like G9's paper craft projects



But the chief soon calls for security to help G9

When the security arrives to save G9, G9 tells them to chill because the intruder and him were only pillow fighting.. and that is his morning exercise



One thing I noticed the chief carries these 2 phones wherever he goes

G9 agrees to take the case but he has to go through a physical test which looks like this


But while training G9 kills one dude.. that dude is a bad guy 

G9 gives the bad guy some electric shocks to reveal the truth from him


Meanwhile Shakti convinces the reporter's sister that G9 killed her brother and she has to seduce him

Soon G9 figures out that the clue of the attacks lies in certain quality of rice and wheat.. so he and his partner beg for rice samples on the streets XD

G9, while investigating the reporter's house for rice, comes across a ninja..

The girl who has been hitting on G9 enters G9's tent and there she finds another ninja and she starts fighting with him

They come to the conclusion that the rice is contaminated after seeing the old couple getting horny.. it definitely must be the rice

G9 goes to investigate the rice warehouse and encounters several thugs.. now that is one well secured warehouse

G9 uses one of the best equipments the Headphone, to communicate secretly with his chief

So a spy headquarters looks like the projector room of a movie theater

Meanwhile the dead reporter's sister rides on a raft wearing tacky clothes and spies on G9




She throws a bomb attached to 555 cigarette packet on the boat... and boom.. cigarettes are injurious to health

She pretends she is drowning by flapping her hands in the shallowest water possible
and G9 rescues her


G9 gives lessons in how to resuscitate a person who has just drowned


G9 discovers some rice in her locket with the reporter's pic.. so he quickly takes it away

But the girl tells her name is Sujata and G9 realizes she is lying so he volunteers to drop her to her uncle's place

Once home she changes her clothes and starts seducing G9 but G9 knows it is a trap but he sticks around because free sex

Shakti gets back home and he gloats about his gun


Shakti despite knowing the fact that G9 is a spy, leaves him in an unlocked car and goes to check his engine... G9 runs away

G9 tells Anu the truth about her brothers death and tells her to stay with Shakti and give info to him.. that way they can catch the kingpin

Seems like the main villian is the Hunchback of Notre dame

But soon Shakti kidnaps the girl's dad and asks for G9 as ransom

He announces where he is and then he fights the thugs whom come to get him.


G9 comes to rescue the professor and fights bad guys.. to Bappi Lahiri singing Gaaaan Maaaster G9.. Ru Ru Ru Ruuuuu

Soon they realize that the locusts are fitted with a micro receiver that cause them to fly to a specific direction

When they go in the jungle to investigate the locusts.. they eat some food and get drugged and start dancing.. cos there is always time for dancing in a snowy mountain backdrop

Meanwhile Hunchback meets Shakti in an Egyptian inspired room

G9 is taken like an animal to the villain's fortress, where villains wearing Kendo and fencing helmets attack him


So the villain lives in a place that is built like ancient Egypt right in the middle of an average Indian forest. No wonder no one noticed it



Hahaha so the bad guys are making human robot slaves and making them lift heavy weights..



Meet the villain Mr Jambola.. who hates god and loves to throw wild parties

Meanwhile G9 is captured and put in a tiger's cage, which is a common thing in our country.. don't have any place to go... go inside a tiger's cage (fuck privacy)

G9 wrestles the tiger, while the girl is tortured with candles :S





Anu comes and rescues all of them dressed up like this 

But even if you are in danger you cannot miss a party.. so our heroes quickly attend Jambola's party and sing and dance



That is one wild party

Just a few moments ago Shakti and G9 were trying to kill each other but soon they start dancing together...Every thing can be solved by a dance off

Look at them sphinxes

Soon after the dance off ends, Jambola tells Shakti and G9 to have a fight to death competition.. and to make it more exciting they have Indian version of cupids standing around who will shoot them if they come near them



After a short and confusing fight session Shakti gets shot by the cupids and he dies in a very '80s seductive dance' style



After the fight G9 tells Jambola that it is now his turn to die but Jambola laughs and tells G9 he doesn't intend to fight instead he wants to make G9 his personal bitch

When G9 refuses the offer, Jambola orders for the ultimate torture, by tying G9 to a very fancy cradle and making his girlfriend sit on his throne and laugh at her


However G9's friends who were also at the party now conveniently get back to their rescue mission and call the police force with a huge antenna


While the bad guys kill a very inconspicuously dressed Kalpana Iyer G9 decides he doesn't like the cradle,he is more cooler than that. He gets up easily and kills the bad guys.



Dying Anu tells G9 to save the kids from mosquito nets by cutting the red tubes.. but crazy sword wielding ninja arrives




The ninja dies easily and G9 goes to Jambola, who is busy laughing at G9's girlfriend


Now everywhere people start fighting and confusion starts...



Confusion 1 - How did G9's girlfriend get out of Jambola's lair so quickly and that too wearing new clothes.. remember she was wearing tribal outfit just a second ago

Confusion 2 -Why are the kids, kept in mosquito nets, facing danger.. this must be the most malaria free area for them to live


Confusion 3 - Why cant these guys see this huge ass trip wire 

Confusion 4 - Why is the sphinx on the right laughing

Confusion 5 - Where did the locusts come from and why did they attack only Jambola?


Confusion 6 - Why is it day outside the lair and night where G9 and his friends are. which is outside the lair


Finally Jambola's lair is destroyed and G9 goes back to dancing in the club with the aunties :D


Final Review - 
Wardat is a spy action movie heavily inspired by James Bond movies. For an 80s movie it packs enough cheese and explosions and crazy dance numbers from the disco era.

It is a fun movie if you watch it for its genre and not expect any serious realistic spy story. It is a bollywood action movie so expect a lot of strange things happening on screen.

The issues I had with this movie (ignoring the cheesy part) was the extremely choppy editing. Everything was so badly edited that it became confusing. Storywise.. lol.. G9 could have been a normal cool guy and it would have made sense.. Everyone in the movie knew that G9 was a spy, even the local aunties. His car had his code name on it.So much for being a secret agent.

 I liked the 'deliberate locust attack' plot of the movie, which made more sense. Where the hell did the robotic people making rice plot come in? and Why? 

I will not complain about the crazy sets because that's what old spy movies were about. Obviously G9 guys did not have the budget to make something cooler but hey the fancy villain lair was awesome. I love this genre of movies for its campy over the top design. Another thing I liked about this movie is that G9 fell in love with the tough girl who fought by his side and not the damsel in distress. There were no sappy scenes between G9 and his girl, they were partners who took care of the bad guys together and cared for each other. It is refreshing to see this in a hindi movie where helpless women are considered the epitome of womanhood, while tough girls are considered manly.

My final take of this movie.. Go watch it and have fun.. and laugh at some really lame scenes.

- xxSPy

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